Sissy Boy Slap Party "In Defense OF Prostitution": Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Everybody has skeletons in the closet, and the most powerful man in Internet music media is no exception. Jason Josephes, the other half of Pitchfork founder Ryan Schreiber’s mid-90’s Minneapolis basement duo Sissy Boy Slap Party, recently alerted me to the fact that their youthful transgressions were committed to tape and are now available to the world on MySpace. Josephes is also slowly telling the story of how the band was born and trying to explain the inexplicable songs about ugly prostitutes, television themes, and how no one should hit RECORD after an “hour of power” and a handful of mushrooms.

Now, I can speak from personal experience that when you make a living critiquing other people’s music, they’re (not surprisingly) eager to return the favor. I’m all for it – please, go make fun of my band – as those who live in glass houses blah blah blah. That said…

Sissy Boy Slap Party
“In Defense of Prostitution”
[1996]

There’s something special about sticking up for the little guy, even if s/he’s a downtrodden slutbag who “wanted to go to the fair/to get implants on her balls with hair/because she was a naked transsexual.” The potential in such stories of crippling moral catatonia rises to the surface of Sissy Boy Slap Party’s relentlessly idiosyncratic debut single, as you can almost hear songwriter Ryan Schreiber’s gentle, motherly coo coddle the main character’s body as it rests “on the side of the road/with something stuck in her mouth/it looked like some guy’s choad.” Tom Waits’ “Postcard From A Hooker in Minneapolis” be damned - “In Defense of Prostitution” is the finest tepid tale of innocence lost and heartbreak personified through meaningless sex with myriad partners for small sums of money in recent memory.

Share This